We moved several States away from where we first met. It was time for a fresh start, but the fresh start took a few years to happen. Just because we moved away from hurt, doesn't mean things got better right away. I was still full of anger and bitterness and my husband was still full of selfishness and denial. Our home was not comforting. Our home was cold.
A little over two years after the move, my husband lost his job. He was unemployed for nine months. He lost his job unfairly, but God used that time to make our family new.
While my husband was unemployed, I went back to work part-time. I didn't like it. I missed my babies. I missed being at home. I used to work full-time before the twins were born. I would wear power suits, make-up, and fix my hair daily, but I always felt like I wasn't where I was supposed to be. Going back to work made me realize that at home, I am were I am supposed to be. At home, I am who I am supposed to be.
God worked on our family during this this time. I could see changes in my husband. Big changes. I could see changes in myself. Most importantly, I could see changes in our marriage and the way we treat each other.
We decided that we would homeschool our children. Looking back, this was one of the best decisions our family has ever made. I am with my children all day. I get to help them through their struggles and celebrate each of their accomplishments. I get to see and experience it all. There are days that are not the best, but the good far outweighs the bad. The bad days also are used for teaching tools, we learn a lot about forgiveness.
Our marriage is still a work in progress, with the help of God's mercy and grace, it is getting stronger. We are learning to communicate. We are learning to ask for forgiveness. We are learning to forgive. We are so thankful that God has saved our marriage. We, alone, could not have done it.
My husband wakes up early and has his quiet time in the Word. He is still learning how to be the husband God wants him to be. I have been blessed to see so many changes. I am blessed to have such a great leader of our household. He is becoming an amazing example of a godly leader to our boys and a great example of what our daughters should look for in a husband. I am still learning how to be the wife God wants me to be so that I can be a good example to my children.
We still have our days where we don't respond in the best ways to each other, but those days are just reminders that we are still sinners who have been saved by grace and that we need to rely on Him more and more.
I am so thankful that I did not give up on my marriage. I am so thankful that I did not take the worldly advice of thinking of myself first. I am so thankful I opened up my heart to change, a heart that was once closed off, cold and bitter. I am so thankful for God's mercy every day.
My Story - Part 1 - A Broken Child
My Story - Part 2 - Up and Down Adolescence
My Story - Part 3 - Lost Young Adult
My Story - Part 4 - Lost to Found