Thursday, May 9, 2013

Marriage In A Disposable World

Have you seen the pictures going around the web that show an elderly couple, holding each other hands, embracing each other, and you can see the sense of comfort on their faces. The picture tells how the couple has been married for decades and asks the question of how they managed to stay married so long. The answer, because they come from a generation where when something was broken, they fixed it.

We have become a disposable world. We use disposable plates, disposable napkins, disposable cameras (okay, maybe not these as much). When new technology is introduced, there is a rush to buy it and get rid of the old (which, in some cases, in only a few months old). We want bigger, better, newer. We are not content.

Why, then, is it surprising that so marriages are failing? If things are not going the way we want, if we are no longer content, we can just go out and replace our spouse. After all, there are plenty of fish in the sea. (By the way, I have never liked that saying ... and I may be showing my age.) We think marriages should be like the ones we see in movies and in television shows. When they aren't, we simply go out and try again.

What happened to commitment?

What happened to happened to fixing what was broken?

What happened to our priorities?

We have not only become a disposable world, but we also have become a world where our priorities are backwards.

We put work in front of families. We put our choices of entertainment, what we watch, what we read, over what is good and pure for our marriage. We think of self instead of a marriage union of two becoming one. We put friends before our marriage. Some even put video games before their marriage. We even put our extended family before our marriages.

We put our children before our marriage. (Ahem....guilty!)

When did we stop asking the questions - Is this good for my marriage? Would this benefit my marriage or hurt it? Is this decision I am making the best decision for our marriage? Is what I am going to watch going to benefit or hurt my marriage? Is confiding things about my marriage to a member of the opposite sex going to benefit my marriage, or is it going to take away from my marriage? Am I becoming more emotionally invested in someone other than my spouse?

There are so many other questions we need to ask. We need to think of our marriage in practically ever decision we make.

We think that what we watch wont have any affect on our marriage. Really? What are you thinking when you watch a love scene in a movie. Are you thinking of your husband? Is the scene even realistic? Some of the love scenes I used to watch not only weren't realistic, they also didn't look very comfortable.

When did we stop putting effort into our marriages? When did we decide to stop working on keeping them strong? Marriages are a gift that we have taken for granted.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24  

When we marry, we leave our families. We become one flesh. We are no longer separate. We are one. I truly believe that divorce is as hard as it is because we are one. We are trying to break ourselves in two. It is painful. It is a scar that never goes away. I know from personal experience.

I have been blessed to be married to my husband for over ten years. I have been blessed that he didn't want to give up on us when I did. We have been blessed that God showed us we needed to fight for our marriage and shut out outside sources that told us we should just give up, that marriage is disposable.

Friends, I encourage you to fight for your marriage. It will be hard. I encourage you to pray for your marriage even especially when you don't want to.

If you are in a marriage that is strong, I encourage you to pray for a friends marriage that may not be.

I encourage you, in this disposable world, not to think of marriages as disposable. Marriages are a gift, a gift that should not be taken for granted.


  1. Hi there. My name is Lindsey. Stopping by from Domestically Faithful. A new blog that I have recently launched. Your blog is beautiful! Many blessings.

    1. Thank you, Lindsey! Your blog is wonderful. I can't wait to read more. Many blessings to you too. - Tracy