Skip to main content

Cherishing A Symbol

I can no longer wear my wedding ring.  I took it off over a year ago and then I gained so much weight that I couldn't fit it back on.  Honestly, at the time I took it off,  I didn't really want to put it back on.  It had no meaning to me.

My husband and I met and married in 4 months and one week.   When we got married we were both broken.  We both had a lot of baggage that we brought with us.  In that short time of getting to know each other, we didn't discuss our brokenness.  Looking back, we weren't very smart about it.  Seriously, who meets someone and marries them in 4 months and one week!

The first six years of our marriage were the worst.  I didn't want to be in the marriage.  But I also didn't want my children to grow up with divorced parents like I did.  I think I speak for both us when I say that we weren't committed to each other.  We weren't committed to our marriage.  We weren't kind to each other.  We lived selfishly.  We didn't become one.

I clearly remember the day about 3 years ago when I sent my husband an email (my communication tool of choice) that told him I would stay married to him for the kids, but that was it.  As far as I was concerned the relationship part of our marriage was over.

Thankfully, God stepped in.  He transformed my husband first.  Which I thought was good because he was, in my opinion, the worst one in the marriage.  I thought I was already doing and being what I was supposed to be.

I was wrong.

In the past year God has shown me my faults.  My many, many faults.  He showed me my bitterness.  He showed me my lack of trust.  He showed me my hardened heart.

In the past year God has also shown me that my faults are forgiven.  He showed me that He can take away my bitterness.  He showed me that I should put all my trust in Him.  He showed me that He could heal my broken heart.

When my husband and I got married, we didn't invite God into our marriage.  But He was still there.  Whether we meant to or not, we made a commitment before God.  He sees everything.  We have to honor that commitment. 

We are both sinners.  Marriage isn't going to be easy because we are both sinners.

We didn't marry each other just for the good times.  We didn't marry each other only if there was money in our bank account.  We didn't marry each other only if we were dedicated and kind to each other.  We married each other for richer OR poorer, in sickness AND health, till death do we part.

My weight loss goal has always been to be able to fit into business suits I used to wear.  I have a great charcoal gray one that I wore with a beautiful purple, gray and white striped shirt.  It is a great suit! 

Now my life has different priorities.  Now my goal is to be able to wear my wedding ring.

When I can finally wear my wedding ring, I will have different feelings.  I will cherish it.  I will wear it knowing that I am committed to my husband and that he is committed to me.  I will wear it knowing that God is at the center of our marriage.  It will be a cherished symbol that I will proudly wear.

I can honestly say that I love my husband more now than I ever have before and that love continues to grow.  I can also say that I only have my Heavenly Father to thank.  If it weren't for His great love for me, I wouldn't have the marriage I have today.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Letting go of the boy, so he can become a man.

Rain! We thought the rain would never stop. It seemed to rain every day for over a week. All the while, our lawn continued to grow and grow. When there was finally a break in the rain, the lawn seemed to stand two feet tall. Our oldest son has taken on the responsibility of mowing the lawn. He was so happy when his dad told him that he could mow on his own. He longs to please his dad. He longs to make him happy. He longs for his approval. Of course, he doesn't have to mow in order to do or receive any of those things. He has been a daddy's boy since the day he came into the world and we found out we had a son. Our son went out to tackle mowing the lawn. He had been asking me every day if he could mow and today I was finally able to say yes, that it was dry enough. He had been out there mowing for about 20 minutes when he came in for a drink. He was dripping with sweat. My heart sunk for my boy, for how difficult the task he was attempting to complete. I told him that I...

Today I took a beating!

This morning, I posted about my quiet time and how it encouraged me because it was just what I needed to hear from God. My quiet time was about a Mom's greatest joy. How we are to teach our children about God and how to measure success. I was pumped, excited and ready to go! Someone knew I was excited to be doing God's work. That someone, is satan! The morning that started out great quickly turned. First, I had checked our bank account and it was not what I wanted or expected to see. Punch 1. Secondly, I received an email that was not what I wanted to hear. Punch 2. Next, I cried and cried and cried. I did what I shouldn't have, and I let that hurt and fear turn to anger. Punch 3. Then, I did the unthinkable, I let that anger out on my children. Knocked Out! That was the absolutely lowest part of my day. You see, the bank account and the email made me question the decision of quitting my job. It made me question the decision of staying home and homeschooling. I...

Today

Today I am going to appreciate doing laundry for I am thankful my family has clothes to wear, towels to use after we take a shower, sheets for beds where we are able to rest, in our home that provides us shelter.  We are blessed to be clean.  We are blessed to be warm.  We are blessed to have a place to rest our heads. Today I am going to appreciate doing dishes for I am thankful that I have pots and pans to cook the food that we are blessed with and get to eat on plates and bowls with silverware.  We are blessed to have nourishment. Today I will enjoy the hundreds of times my children call out mom for I am thankful that I have been given the blessing of having these children, of teaching these children, of caring for these children. Today I will be grateful for the gift of marriage and for my husband.  I will be thankful that he goes to work everyday so that I may stay home and care for our home and our children.  For if it were not for him and the g...