Starting my weight loss journey again … again.

Today, I told my children to get their tennis shoes on because we were going for a walk.

Squeals of excitement filled the house. They were so excited to go for a walk. Me, not so much.

My oldest daughter asks me several times a week to go on a walk with her. I always find an excuse to say no. Always.

I have begun my weight loss journey several times over the past 4 years. Several times I started out thinking I could do lose the weight. Several times I failed. I haven't always been overweight. I did not become obese until almost five years ago. The weight came on fast. I don't even remember how it happened. One day I was losing the weight I gained while I was pregnant with my twins. I was down to 177 lbs and losing at a pretty good rate. I was proud of myself. The next day I was 245 lbs.

Today, I have decided to start my weight loss journey again.

Why?

Because I am obese.

Because I hurt every day.

Because I cannot bend over without feeling as though I am choking due to the fat on my body is overtaking me.

Because I cannot play with my children.

Because I refuse to get my picture taken. The mere thought of documenting my failure in becoming obese and allowing myself to stay obese makes me physically sick to my stomach.

Because I hate looking in the mirror.

Because I am a terrible role model to my children.

Because my daughter, who is an absolutely beautiful 9 year old, told me today that she was fat. I wanted to weep.

Because I am supposed to be the object of my husband affection and I don’t know how he can even stand to look at me.

Because I have given up on myself.

Because I have forgotten who I am.

Because I have forgotten who I want to be.

Today, I started my weight loss journey again. I went for a walk with my children.

We walked around the block once. It was ~~only~~ a half a mile.

I felt terrible. I could barely breathe. My legs hurt. My lungs hurt.

My oldest son walked by my side the entire time. The others ran a little way ahead again, burning up some of their youthful energy.

He walked by me.

He never left my side.

He kept asking if I was okay.

Over and over again. And then again.

I was breathing hard and limping.

But I kept going.

I managed to walk a half of a mile.

My weight loss journey has begun …. again.

Comments

Zipzicles review and giveaway!!

A couple weeks ago I received a package of Zipzicles to try out and review. I must say, I was super excited. You can read about how Zipzicles was started here. This summer my children and I attended VBS at our church. Since our church is a 30 minute drive and VBS ran from 8:30-12:30, I knew that I would need to pack their lunches. I attempted to make my own Zipzicle type packaging but it did not turn out well at all. I didn't take pictures because no-one needs to witness how bad they were. So, a couple months ago I found Zipzicles and wanted to give them a try. It is such a simple idea and I cannot believe no-one thought of them sooner. One of the things I like most (besides being super convenient) is that the packages are BPA free and recyclable! I also like that I know exactly what my kids are eating because I make it myself. Okay, so here is what I did. I made smoothies and put them in the Zipzicle packages. I am a big fan of tropical smoothies. Here I have coconut milk...

Vintage Christmas Wonderland - Review

When I was contacted a few weeks ago and asked if I would review a newly released Christmas album, I couldn't type fast enough to respond and say YES! Christmas is, by far, my favorite time of year. When I received the Cds, they were wrapped in beautiful burlap and ribbon and decorated with a sparkly snowflake. Along with the Cds, there was a personal handwritten note. It was so sweet and just made the entire experience of this review scream vintage. Vintage Christmas Wonderland by David Ian has a smooth jazzy sound that takes you back to the days when life was less complicated. When I was contacted to review the album, it was described to me as " It's reminiscent of the Charlie Brown Christmas album and meant to bring warmth to the season!". I can tell you, that is a perfect description. While listening to Vintage Christmas Wonderland, I felt like putting up my Christmas tree just so I could plug in the lights and watch them glow. I felt like starting a ...

Educents and Conscious Box - MY FIRST GIVEAWAY!

WELCOME TO MY FIRST GIVEAWAY!!! Educents and Conscious Box are offering an Earth Day giveaway. They are giving away a special Earth Day Conscious Box, valued at $20!! Educents is an online business that recently started. They specialize in Educational items. I am so excited to see all they are going to offer. So far, they have had some great items at great prices. Conscious Box is an online company that offers a monthly service wher e you subscri be to receive a box of eco -friendly pro ducts delivered right to your door. Here is a little bi t of information about Cons cious Box from their website ... Subscribe to Conscious Box Discover the best products on the planet... every month ! For April, Conscious Box is presenting its very special Earth Day box! Inside, you'll find incredible products that help you lighten your carbon footprint and better show your love for Mother Earth. From healthy, sustainable snacks to ultra-conscious home products,...

Home with Tracy

Search This Blog