Someone knew I was excited to be doing God's work. That someone, is satan! The morning that started out great quickly turned. First, I had checked our bank account and it was not what I wanted or expected to see. Punch 1. Secondly, I received an email that was not what I wanted to hear. Punch 2. Next, I cried and cried and cried. I did what I shouldn't have, and I let that hurt and fear turn to anger. Punch 3. Then, I did the unthinkable, I let that anger out on my children. Knocked Out! That was the absolutely lowest part of my day.
You see, the bank account and the email made me question the decision of quitting my job. It made me question the decision of staying home and homeschooling. It was exactly what satan wanted. I gave in to satan. I let him win.
When my children got up from their nap. I apologized to them individually, and I asked for their forgiveness. I was a poor example in the earlier part of the day, but I pray that they saw me as a better example when I asked for their forgiveness.
Later in the afternoon, I received an unexpected phone call from a friend. God knew what I needed. That friend reassured me that I was doing God's work and I was living out His plan for our family. She told me to not fear what I have no control over and to not let satan win. Satan will attack, especially women who are staying home and raising children according to God's plan.
I go back to my main verse....something I tend to forget when I try to control things!
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and depart from evil. It will be healthy for your flesh and strength to your bones. Proverbs 3:5-8
Lord, I pray that you forgive me for giving in to the thoughts that were put in my head. I know that you are a faithful God and you will take care of us.