Home with Tracy

I was having a discussion with my children the other day about how we have to be purposeful when it comes to joy. Unfortunately, we can easily fall into negativity, anger, bitterness. Last week the kids and I attended VBS. The motto for VBS this year was Facing Fear, Trusting God. The verse for the week was was 2 Timothy 1:7. "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." Growing up, I always feared my parents. This fear remained with me through my adulthood. If I would get an email from them, or a phone call, I would get a terrible pit in my stomach and I would feel sick. God used last weeks VBS to speak to me, to face my fear, to trust in Him and Him alone. He provided me courage and comfort. Last week I received an email from my mother. We have not had a relationship over the past 10 years. It is my choice and I do so because I am a better, healthier mom when I do not have contact with her or my second father. In the...

It has been a rough 9 months for me. With the unexpected death of my youngest brother by him taking his own life, to stopping the adoption process of a little boy I already had in my heart and could see in our home, to the death of my grandmother last week. I have been numb. I have been getting up in the morning with the hopes of just getting through the day and making it until bedtime. As I was driving yesterday and listening to worship music, I had a revelation come into my thoughts. I am not living intentionally. My days are not my days, they are His days and I am not living them for Him or His purpose. I have felt like I have been living in a fog. I would get up in the morning, slowly get around to get the kids breakfast, halfheartedly get them to do their chores and schoolwork, and I could not wait until lunch because I knew afterwards there would be rest time and I could get a break. A break from what, I have no idea, since I really wasn't doing anything. After rest time ...

Back at the end of 2011, there were several mom blogs that were asking what one word you would choose to describe 2012. I drew a blank....for a long time. Finally, I have my word. INTENTIONAL! I am going to be intentional about studying God's Word and spending daily time with Him. I am going to be intentional about being the wife that God wants me to be, the wife that my husband deserves. I am going to be intentional about being the mother God wants me to be, the mother that my children deserve. I am going to be intentional about being a homemaker that God wants me to be, a homemaker that brings glory to God. I am going to be intentional about my daily attitude. I am going to be intentional about my daily attitude. Yes, I know I typed that one twice, it was intentional. Intentional is defined as "done with intention or on purpose." What are my intentions for the day? Do they glorify God? Are my intentions, or my purpose, accomplishing what I need...

The worldly message of what makes a marriage work as seen in movies, books, television shows, is most commonly portrayed as attraction. It is deceitfully described as love, but often it is only lust. Unfortunately, that is why so many marriages fail. Marriage is about much more than attraction. Actually, attraction is just a small part of it. Marriage is about devotion, dedication, commitment, loyalty, faithfulness, trust, forgiveness, patience, kindness, respect, growing. Marriage is about standing next to a person, taking a vow to be with them through it all. Through the mountains and the valleys. Being with someone, completely committed to someone through all the valleys, makes a marriage stronger. Marriage should grow through the years. Marriage takes work in order to grow. You would not simply plant a seed in the sand and hope that it grows into what it is capable of growing in to.   Marriage grows when it is cared for. Marriage grows when you are not only gro...

Today is my husband's birthday and our ninth anniversary.  As I reflect back on these nine years, I am amazed at all God has done for us. We met on August 22, 2002.  We married on December 29, 2002.  Yep, just four months and a week later.  (If any of my children do this, I will hang them by their toes!) When we met, neither of us had a close relationship with our Heavenly Father.  Honestly, we didn't really have a relationship at all.  We didn't pray about getting married.  We didn't invite God to the wedding.  We didn't include Him in our marriage. But, thankfully, He was still there. The first six to seven years of our marriage were full of heart break, selfishness, anger, resentment, exhaustion (4 babies in 3 years), bitterness, and the list could go on and on.  We weren't joined together as one.  We were two people, living two separate lives, raising four children separately, but living under one roof. I didn't know how ...

It is not uncommon now a days for a woman to be in the company of a man who is not her husband.  It could be at work, serving on a committee, through an activity involving her children, there are numerous ways. When I worked at a church a couple years ago, the pastor was looking for a ride to work after dropping off his vehicle to be serviced.  I knew that I drove that way, so I offered to pick him up.  He explained to me a policy that the church had.  If you are married, you are not to be alone with a member of the opposite gender.  He said that they do this to protect marriages. It seemed so simple to me, but I had never even thought about it.  What a great policy.  It isn't put in place because of not trusting people, it is put in place to protect.  What starts as an innocent conversation, can lead to a broken marriage, a broken family.  The devil looks for any opportunity he can to dissolve marriages.  This is one way to insure t...

I did not grow up studying the Bible.  I went to church all throughout high school.  I would read my Bible at church or church functions.  But I did not study it.  I did not hide it in my heart.  And I did not follow it or live by it. I want to be different.  I want to hide His word in my heart.  I want my children to hide His word in their hearts. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain.  She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.  Proverbs 31:11-12 I want my daughters to honor their husbands ALL the days of their lives.  I want them to honor their husbands today and every day.  I want them to honor their husbands before they even know who God has chosen for them to marry. I want their character, while they are single, to honor their future husband. I want the words out of their mouths to honor their future husband. All the days of her life... As I read these verses, I...

I can no longer wear my wedding ring.  I took it off over a year ago and then I gained so much weight that I couldn't fit it back on.  Honestly, at the time I took it off,  I didn't really want to put it back on.  It had no meaning to me. My husband and I met and married in 4 months and one week.   When we got married we were both broken.  We both had a lot of baggage that we brought with us.  In that short time of getting to know each other, we didn't discuss our brokenness.  Looking back, we weren't very smart about it.  Seriously, who meets someone and marries them in 4 months and one week! The first six years of our marriage were the worst.  I didn't want to be in the marriage.  But I also didn't want my children to grow up with divorced parents like I did.  I think I speak for both us when I say that we weren't committed to each other.  We weren't committed to our marriage.  We weren't kind to each other...

"the older women, likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things - that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed." Titus 2:3-5 I pray for a mentor.  That God will send a woman to guide me on my journey as a wife and homeschooling mom, homemaker, and most importantly a child of God. A woman who has been where I am.  A woman I can learn from. An encourager. A teacher. A woman who speaks wisdom. I pray. I also pray that through this journey God will train me to be a mentor.  That He will show me who He wants me to be through Him. That I may be reverent in behavior, not practicing slander or gossip.  That I may be faithful, loving and full of patience.  That I may be an example in all these things so that younger women may see how God want...

There is still time to purchase your ticket for next weeks Replenish Your Soul Online Conference.  I am looking forward to all the knowledge I will gain from being mentored by these Women. November 1-3rd, At the Well - Titus 2 Woman will be hosting their first Online Conference, Replenish Your Soul.  This conference, To Have and To Hold, will be about marriage.  Tickets are only $10.  Here are some FAQs from their blog on what you can expect - What can I expect from the conference? You can expect live speakers coming straight to you from your computer from all over the country. Our speakers are wonderful women who have a heart for the Lord and are passionate about marriage and inspiring others. Therefore, you can also expect to be encouraged in your marriage. The Friday before the conference, October 28th, you will receive an e-mail with all the important information you need as well as the links to the conference rooms. Keep this e-mail ...

November 1-3rd, At the Well - Titus 2 Woman will be hosting their first Online Conference, Replenish Your Soul.  This conference, To Have and To Hold, will be about marriage.  Tickets are only $10.  Here are some FAQs from their blog on what you can expect - What can I expect from the conference? You can expect live speakers coming straight to you from your computer from all over the country. Our speakers are wonderful women who have a heart for the Lord and are passionate about marriage and inspiring others. Therefore, you can also expect to be encouraged in your marriage. The Friday before the conference, October 28th, you will receive an e-mail with all the important information you need as well as the links to the conference rooms. Keep this e-mail handy, you will need it each day for the conference. Right before the conference starts, at 1 pm ET each day November 1-3rd, you just click the link to go to the room and attend live! While you are i...

This weekend my husband is at a men's conference down in Georgia.  This is the third year in a row that he has attended this conference.  Each year when he attends this conference I reflect back on the year that has passed and I am amazed at how much our marriage and family has changed.  It has been said (specifically by my former pastor) that I am a strong willed person.  It was that strong will that convinced my husband to attend this conference the first year that he went.  I don't think he was looking forward to it, but I could be wrong.  I just remember that I was looking forward to it.  To be honest, I was not looking forward to it because I wanted my husband to be filled, refreshed and renewed.   I was looking forward to it because I wanted him out of the house.  I wanted that 36 hours to myself (not really by myself, our 4 small children were with me).  Our marriage was at an all time low and I was done.  Little did I know...

One of my dear, sweet, wonderful friends asked me to do a Bible Study with her a couple months back and I was so excited! Since I home-school my children, I don't get much adult interaction. Also, this friend is very knowledgeable and super sweet. I knew I could learn a lot from her. She picked out the book Feminine Appeal: Seven Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother and Mother by Carolyn Mahaney. I must admit, I really didn't care what book we were studying, I just really wanted some time with this friend. I mention this so you can understand where my mind and heart was when we started. As I started to read the book it refers to the passage Titus 2:3-5. I must confess I have to look the verses up because I still have not memorized it like I should. the older women, likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things - that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be di...

Jesus replied, "'Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it, 'Love your neighbor as yourself'. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." Matthew 22:37-40 There are ten commandments that God has given us. Yet, when Jesus was asked which is the greatest commandment in the law, Jesus said "Love". Of all the commandments we have been given, Love is the one God considers the greatest. I love my kids. I have always wanted children and I pray that God will bless us with more. I absolutely LOVE children! At least I thought I did, until I read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 a little more closely. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices w...

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the LORD. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Ephesians 5:22-24 These verses have, at least in my up-bringing, had a negativity attached to them. The word "submit" is, I believe, the center of the negativity. God, however, did not mean for this verse to be negative, or cause resentment. This verse simply tells us how to have a successful relationship with our husband, and more importantly, with God. I will be the first to confess that I do not let my husband lead as God wants me to. For the first 7 years of our marriage, my husband wasn't interested in leading and I certainly wasn't interested in following. In this past year, however, God has been working on my husband and he is a changed man. He wants to lead. I, however, am hesitan...