Skip to main content

Cherishing A Symbol

Image
By Home with Tracy
I can no longer wear my wedding ring.  I took it off over a year ago and then I gained so much weight that I couldn't fit it back on.  Honestly, at the time I took it off,  I didn't really want to put it back on.  It had no meaning to me.

My husband and I met and married in 4 months and one week.   When we got married we were both broken.  We both had a lot of baggage that we brought with us.  In that short time of getting to know each other, we didn't discuss our brokenness.  Looking back, we weren't very smart about it.  Seriously, who meets someone and marries them in 4 months and one week!

The first six years of our marriage were the worst.  I didn't want to be in the marriage.  But I also didn't want my children to grow up with divorced parents like I did.  I think I speak for both us when I say that we weren't committed to each other.  We weren't committed to our marriage.  We weren't kind to each other.  We lived selfishly.  We didn't become one.

I clearly remember the day about 3 years ago when I sent my husband an email (my communication tool of choice) that told him I would stay married to him for the kids, but that was it.  As far as I was concerned the relationship part of our marriage was over.

Thankfully, God stepped in.  He transformed my husband first.  Which I thought was good because he was, in my opinion, the worst one in the marriage.  I thought I was already doing and being what I was supposed to be.

I was wrong.

In the past year God has shown me my faults.  My many, many faults.  He showed me my bitterness.  He showed me my lack of trust.  He showed me my hardened heart.

In the past year God has also shown me that my faults are forgiven.  He showed me that He can take away my bitterness.  He showed me that I should put all my trust in Him.  He showed me that He could heal my broken heart.

When my husband and I got married, we didn't invite God into our marriage.  But He was still there.  Whether we meant to or not, we made a commitment before God.  He sees everything.  We have to honor that commitment. 

We are both sinners.  Marriage isn't going to be easy because we are both sinners.

We didn't marry each other just for the good times.  We didn't marry each other only if there was money in our bank account.  We didn't marry each other only if we were dedicated and kind to each other.  We married each other for richer OR poorer, in sickness AND health, till death do we part.

My weight loss goal has always been to be able to fit into business suits I used to wear.  I have a great charcoal gray one that I wore with a beautiful purple, gray and white striped shirt.  It is a great suit! 

Now my life has different priorities.  Now my goal is to be able to wear my wedding ring.

When I can finally wear my wedding ring, I will have different feelings.  I will cherish it.  I will wear it knowing that I am committed to my husband and that he is committed to me.  I will wear it knowing that God is at the center of our marriage.  It will be a cherished symbol that I will proudly wear.

I can honestly say that I love my husband more now than I ever have before and that love continues to grow.  I can also say that I only have my Heavenly Father to thank.  If it weren't for His great love for me, I wouldn't have the marriage I have today.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Letting go of the boy, so he can become a man.

By Home with Tracy
Rain! We thought the rain would never stop. It seemed to rain every day for over a week. All the while, our lawn continued to grow and grow. When there was finally a break in the rain, the lawn seemed to stand two feet tall. Our oldest son has taken on the responsibility of mowing the lawn. He was so happy when his dad told him that he could mow on his own. He longs to please his dad. He longs to make him happy. He longs for his approval. Of course, he doesn't have to mow in order to do or receive any of those things. He has been a daddy's boy since the day he came into the world and we found out we had a son. Our son went out to tackle mowing the lawn. He had been asking me every day if he could mow and today I was finally able to say yes, that it was dry enough. He had been out there mowing for about 20 minutes when he came in for a drink. He was dripping with sweat. My heart sunk for my boy, for how difficult the task he was attempting to complete. I told him that I...
9 comments
Read more

Trying to be more of a planner

By Home with Tracy
In December I started making a monthly meal plan.  I was excited, but a little nervous about how it would all turn out.  I must say I was pleasantly surprised at the outcome.  It didn't take as much time as I thought it would. I made the meal calendar for the month and then wrote down all the ingredients I would need.  That part was a little overwhelming at first.  I separated the lists into perishables and non-perishables/freezable.   Now I do a once a month shopping trip for the non-perishables/freezables and then a bi-weekly shopping trip for perishables.  I don't stick to the menu every day, but I know that I will have enough meals for a whole month.  When making out the menu I tried to put similar meals back to back.  Like one night we will have meatloaf and the next night we have shepherd pie.  I use the same ingredients 2 days in a row.  It saves time and money. My once a month shopping trip consists of bulk buying...
1 comment
Read more

Dear Adoptive Mom Who Didn't Adopt

By Home with Tracy
Dear Adoptive Mom Who Didn't Adopt, It is difficult to express the loss of a child through a failed adoption. It is difficult for people to understand. But I am here to let you know that I understand. I understand your pain. I understand your loss. I have felt your heartbreak. I have cried your tears. You don't start the process of an adoption thinking the end result would be a bed that is still empty. You don't think that there will be a seat at the table that wont be filled. You don't think of all the goodnight kisses that will never be given. You don't think that you will never give comforting hugs, letting your child know you will always be there mommy. You don't start the process of an adoption thinking you will come out at the end without your child. It is difficult because the people around you may not respond to your loss. They may not realize that you are grieving the loss of that child. Your child. They may not realize that even though you never ...
Post a Comment
Read more