Monday, January 16, 2012

The Choices We Make

My husband and I had our first child 9 months after we were married. Our second followed 17 months later. Our twins arrived 20 months after her.

Four children in three years!

All of my pregnancies ended with me having a c-section.

Our first child was 13 days late, face forward and had his head tilted. We tried for two days to get him to come out on his own, but he wouldn't.

Our second child was laying sideways. And she was perfectly content staying that way.

With the twins I went into pre-term labor around week 22. I made it to around 35 weeks. Our son, who was in the first position, was up on my left side under my ribs. While laying on the operating table, I overheard the doctor say "Is that an arm?" when they went in to get him. He was hiding well. Our daughter was head down and ready to go.

Because I had three c-sections in three years, the doctors strongly recommended that I get my tubes tied. I didn't want to. I was only 32 years old. I wanted to have more children.

My husband agreed with the doctors.

My grandmother strongly agreed with the doctors!

I felt as though no-one was on my side. No-one encouraged me to leave it up to God.

So I did it. I had my tubes tied.

And I regret it.

And I have shed too many tears to count since that day.

I just started reading Family Driven Faith: What It Takes To Raise Sons And Daughters Who Walk With God by Voddie Baucham, Jr. Here is a quote from that book that personally touched me -

... we hired a doctor to speak to God on our behalf. He took a scalpel and sutures and told God, "The Bauchams hereby declare that they no longer trust, nor welcome you in this area of their lives."

My husband read this book first. When he got to this paragraph, he put the book down, looked and me and apologized to me for telling me to get my tubes tied.

I didn't know how to respond.

For the past five years I have felt alone in my sorrow from that decision.

Does this mean we are not going to bring anymore children into our home?

Absolutely not!

We know that God has more of His children for us to care for. We are praying to adopt.

If you are considering getting your tubes tied, I pray that you pray about it. Seek God's answer, not the answer of doctors, family or friends. If you have already had the procedure done and you are regretting it, I pray that you find comfort in your Heavenly Father.

If you have not read Voddie Baucham, Jr.'s Family Driven Faith, I highly recommend that you do. My husband read it in just a few days and was extremely encouraged by it. I read the first chapter last night and didn't want to put it down.

It is comforting to read a book that supports and encourages your beliefs. It is comforting to know that there are other parents in the world who prioritize discipling their children.

I will do a full book review when I have finished reading it.

No comments:

Post a Comment