Changing the Way I See Me

Two weeks ago I joined 20 other people, some of them strangers, for a biggest loser challenge. The challenge last 12 weeks, and yes, it goes through the holidays.

I have done this challenge before and I gained.

This time it is different. Not because I am "dieting" but because I am changing the way I see me.

My old thinking was that I deserved to be overweight. I used my obesity as a shield to protect me. It was an odd security blanket. It was easier for me to be obese. In my mind I held on to the obesity in order to have excuse should something from my past happen again.

God is working wonders in my life. He is changing my thinking.

"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." Ephesians 2:10

I am His workmanship. I don't need to hide behind my weight. He made me to do His good works.

I have been changing my eating habits and I am starting a Couch to 5k. Today was weigh in day and I have lost 7 pounds in two weeks.

My biggest success is changing my mind, my thinking, my attitude, my heart. I wont let the past control me anymore. I wont let the past keep me from doing His good works anymore. I wont let the past keep me from being who He created me to be.

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The P Word

Since returning home, well if I must be completely honest, I've always had an issue with pride. I use my pride as an excuse not to do the things God calls me to do. The last position I held was in the preschool department of the church my family attends. I loved it! I loved the organization. I loved the children. I loved the teachers. Sure, like every job, there were some down sides, but mostly I loved it! When God called me away from it, I didn't want to obey. I was doing a good job. Why would He call me away from a job I was doing well? I was in His house, doing His work. Pride! That was my main problem. It wasn't the "I want attention" pride. If you know me, I am not one that wants attention. I don't want recognition. The pride that I was filled with was selfish pride. The pride of knowing I could do the job and do it well. Now that I am no longer working in the preschool department, I have found it difficult being around the department. It is hard to wa...

Letting go of the boy, so he can become a man.

Rain! We thought the rain would never stop. It seemed to rain every day for over a week. All the while, our lawn continued to grow and grow. When there was finally a break in the rain, the lawn seemed to stand two feet tall. Our oldest son has taken on the responsibility of mowing the lawn. He was so happy when his dad told him that he could mow on his own. He longs to please his dad. He longs to make him happy. He longs for his approval. Of course, he doesn't have to mow in order to do or receive any of those things. He has been a daddy's boy since the day he came into the world and we found out we had a son. Our son went out to tackle mowing the lawn. He had been asking me every day if he could mow and today I was finally able to say yes, that it was dry enough. He had been out there mowing for about 20 minutes when he came in for a drink. He was dripping with sweat. My heart sunk for my boy, for how difficult the task he was attempting to complete. I told him that I...

Today I took a beating!

This morning, I posted about my quiet time and how it encouraged me because it was just what I needed to hear from God. My quiet time was about a Mom's greatest joy. How we are to teach our children about God and how to measure success. I was pumped, excited and ready to go! Someone knew I was excited to be doing God's work. That someone, is satan! The morning that started out great quickly turned. First, I had checked our bank account and it was not what I wanted or expected to see. Punch 1. Secondly, I received an email that was not what I wanted to hear. Punch 2. Next, I cried and cried and cried. I did what I shouldn't have, and I let that hurt and fear turn to anger. Punch 3. Then, I did the unthinkable, I let that anger out on my children. Knocked Out! That was the absolutely lowest part of my day. You see, the bank account and the email made me question the decision of quitting my job. It made me question the decision of staying home and homeschooling. I...

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